SO… it’s Saturday morning after a very long yet often fulfilling week!
You know how some weeks are just long and draining? Well, this week was a long week for a few reasons but ultimately it was a very fulfilling week and a momentous week for me personally in this journey I never saw coming.
You see, this past week I was invited back once again to the Watson Centre Society for Brain Health (check them out at https://watsonbrainhealth.com). As some of you may recall early on in the journey, I went through a two-day trial with this group that has done so much for research and recovery from brain injuries of all kinds. Unfortunately, at that time in the stage of recovery where I was at, the program was just not going to be the right fit, so I was not invited to participate. To be honest with you it was a tough drive home that day last fall. I was so desperate for healing and a return to some sense of normality that it seemed like a real big blow!
However, often in life and in faith our timing is very different from God’s timing and a few weeks ago the Executive Director Josh Poirier got in contact with me to touch base on where I was currently in the journey of recovery. I have to admit I was completely shocked to know that I was still even being considered for acceptance into this program. But as we chatted about the journey to this point it became increasingly obvious that another two-day trial would be a great idea. Honestly, as I left his office a few weeks ago I was both excited and a bit anxious. It’s that feeling that many of us have experienced in life, where you are excited for the opportunity (whatever that may be) and anxious at the same time because what “if” the results were the same again this time! What “if” the fit would not be right once again? Personally, the idea of that would be pretty devastating in that we would have to look for another direction for help and healing and that in and of itself is a difficult process.
Well, on Tuesday I jumped back into another two-day trial with a day off on Wednesday. It was back to the rigors of testing the brain through a series of options (I will need to ask in the future IF I can explain them) over a 3-hour timeframe. Now, I know that for some of you that may not seem like much but for where I am at personally in my recovery it is like spending an entire day studying for finals! The exercises though relatively simple in nature are taxing and challenging to the broken pathways in my brain. Not to mention, that the exercises are often timed and push my competitive nature to the maximum! Personally, after the first day of testing I was really glad to have a day of rest (which wasn’t exactly restful but more on that in another blog) to allow my brain a bit of a break.
On Thursday I was back at it with a little less time in the actual program because it was predetermined that we would meet together in the last hour to discuss the results of the two days of the trial. To be very honest, I have to admit that my nerves were very on edge as Barb and I met with Josh and Katryna one of the cognitive instructors I primarily worked with during my time there. All of those crazy thoughts were flowing through my mind as we began to talk about what they thought about the results of the trial:
“Would I get rejected again?” “Would I ever get better?” “Would this be the moment where the journey would change forever?”
Can you relate? Have you ever been in that kind of situation in life’s journey? Personally, I believe that IF you have lived for any length of time on this planet and are alive to read these words you can relate to these kinds of questions at some point in your own life. Well, as we began to talk and discuss it became apparent that this time things would be different. This time the answer would not be “NO” but a resounding:
“Yes we think you would be a good fit for the program now and we are pretty confident that you will make good progress!”
As I continued to listen to their feedback I have to admit (sorry Josh and Katryna) that my mind drifted from our conversation. Why? Because for the first time in what seems like a very long time a feeling of HOPE flooded over my heart and mind! HOPE that there might just be some light at the end of the tunnel in this journey I never say coming! HOPE that there might be a time in the future where my thoughts and abilities might return to what was normal or even beyond that!
HOPE! What an amazing prospect! What an amazing feeling! Every one of us need to have HOPE in order to live out this crazy thing we call the journey of life and faith! And as I sat in the office on that relatively sunny Thursday afternoon, HOPE engaged my world in a real and tangible way.
SO… that is where this journey is taking me next! I start this Monday and will be full-time in the program 4 days a week. The trial is for three months which will take me one month shy of the one-year anniversary of the accident that changed my life forever! If you think about me next week, I appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts that you can direct my way. It’s not going to be an easy journey and I already know there will be some tough moments (just ask my family about how hard I crashed on Thursday afternoon).
My hope is I will be able to blog my way through this 3-month journey with a focus on providing hope for all who may be struggling with a difficult situation or circumstance in their lives!
Pressing on in the journey,